What's in a Church?

THIS IS GONNA B A LONG ONE!

Last nite I brought up the topic of Church to my husband. To get the picture- I grew up VGK,he grew up CATHOLIC. Now the conventional thing u do when getting married is to join ur husband's church,right? Well,here we go.

I finaly,after 5,5 years of marriage,started the Adult classes to convert. That taking so long may have been the mistake. Now,classes are on pause till October and they told us that afterwards we can decide if the Catholic faith is for us or not. NOT! Due to many factors,not the church by itself.

Lets start with some sacraments,as they call it.

BAPTISM
It seems as if I will have to b baptised again at age 32.
One of the many things that seems not to b good enough for them if done in another church,there's a lot more!!!
I was baptised as a baby. Figured the next time this happens is when I made the choice to be,not being forced to gain entry to a church.
Also,when baptising your baby,you can only choose godparents of the same faith. I only know 4 Catholics. The only one I would concider lives abroad. Another thing being forced on you. I speak from experience.
I discovered my baptism certificate when I was 10 or so. My godparents being my dads stepfather and his sister(my aunt). Now by that time,the stepfather had passed. He was a wonderfull man,loved me like I was his own. The aunt is another story. No involvement whatso ever. I wanted to know from my mother,why would they choose her for such an important role? I didnt understand how she could have this amazing position givin to her and she didnt care at all.
Now why would I want that for my child. The names on the certificate is for life and even after. I dont want that question to come out of my childs mouth,that would mean I failed them. Mark suggested that u cud just put a name on there to get thru the baptism,I dont see it like that. I have a godchild. Her parents chose me,because of who I am. I love that girl to bits,even though I dont get to see her often. I would do anything for her if she asked. Wouldnt u want the same for your own children? Not just a name on a paper,because they're Catholic.

CONFESSION
Seriously? Why would I go sit in a box,telling someone anonomously my sins,have them tell me what my punishment should be and go do it? What happened to going down on your knees and using the direct line by praying? I talk to God everyday of my life,dont need the middleman while doing that.

HOLY COMMUNION
This I did after my confirmation. Now I'm not fit to receive it,cause I'm not Catholic. Oh and apparantly,you can only receive it after you have been to confession. Meaning you'll have to b in that box every week if you want communion.

CONFIRMATION
I was confirmed in 1998 at VGK Eersteriver by Ds. Obe Phillips. All decked out in white,my whole family in attendance(except the godmother and her mother btw). I had the whole production. Why go through it again. Why not let us take a few classes,take an oath  and receive us into the church? Now I have to do 1.5 years,just to get into a new church.

MARRIAGE
All of the above seem not to b good enough if you'v already done it. Now with our marriage,it has to be confirmed in the Catholic chutch for them to view it as legal. If I wanted it,I would have gotten married in the Catholic Church. We purposely decided to get a priest from a different church,than any of ours,to marry us. We looked for soneone who could give us pre-marrital counceling,who walked with us and could marry us in Christ. Not just someone who is ordaned to do it. Now that will be a do over also.

why would I convert to a faith where my current one is void to them?

My husband is Catholic in name. He doesnt go to confession,take communion once every what,doesnt own a rosary,missle and whatever else he should. There's no investment,just the 'I'm used to it' factor.
I have the same factor when it comes to VGK.

Other thing is this. When we went early this year so we cud get things going with the church,they gave him forms. 4 questions- Name;what parish he comes from;current address and how much will he be giving in planned giving. No other interest in a new member. They are always handing out money envelopes. You have to buy THEIR Bilble,Their books,rosaries, 2 different hymn books.
I have a store bought Bible and Hymn book. That's it. Once a month I give my donation,I didnt have to confirm ahead of time what it will be. They say other churches are money makers,but this one,sjoe!
The people dont hav any interest in you. We have been going there since 2007,no one has ever come up to us to ask anything about ourselves. They dont greet u in or out of chuch,even those who know who you are. Uninvolved!!! I grew up with Sunday school,confirmation classes,youth group,my mother was a deacon,belonged to the womens league. Whe had prayer meetings Wednesday evenings at a different house. It was a community. I want that. I want to get involved in these things. The Catholic church doesnt have that,how can you get involved when they dont acknowledge you? I want to be excited about going to Church even when I'm alone. I dread going to this Church by myself. It's said to b a mortal sin when you dont attend their mass,well I'm gonna burn in hell,cause there's no way I'm going by myself.
I'm not getting any spiritual guidance out of this church or faith. They challenge everything I believe in and yet I cannot believe in what they say. I believe in God,praying,the Bible.  How will I be a good Christian when I sit in a Church I dont want to be in,when I dont believe in their ways,when I feel unwanted and uncomfortable?

How can I raise my children under Gods word in a church that I myself dont want to be in. This is not just about us anymore,we have to think about our children and what we want out of life for them .

I believe it's now realy time to go Church hunting together.

Till next time...

WAITING seems to be the word this year...

We are still waiting to hear from the local SW to set a date for our home visit. It's nerve wracking!!! I contacted our SW ,but has not received a reply as of yet. This is getting to me. The panel meeting is next Friday,28 June & we realy,realy want to be apart of that group. Just to get finality on whether or not it's a yes or no! I dont know how I'm gonna cope having to wait another month or what.

A friend of ours who's been married for 5 years,just recently divordced started dating again last year & hid girlfriend is expecting,in her 6th month now. He was very weary of telling me,but I am in a very good state of mind and could be truly happy for them . He told me early on,when she was 9 weeks along. I had made peace with our sotuation.  Having a baby is not something that's on my mind at all anymore. My dreams consists of forms,screenings,courts and receiving a healthy baby to love as my own. Weird,this was not the case 2 years ago. How time changes things.

Just yesterday me and above mentioned friend were swapping pix of baby stuff we had bought. The difference just,their goods are of reality,mine of hope. I know a little body will fill these clothes someday soon and he/she will be all ours!!! What a lovely vision...

Till next time...

Keeping Hubby updated

It's 02:30 and I'm still up,nothing new  for me.

Last night I finaly had hubby read my blog. I loaded it onto his homescreen on his phone for easy access. I dont know how many posts he read,but I am eager to find out what his thoughts are.

On another note...we are waiting to hear when our home visit will be. I would love for all of this to be over by month end,but we'll have to wait and see. I just want to dive into nesting mode already!!!

Still on adoption,it seems as though I am having some trouble with family understanding just how unpredictable the process can be. We are trying to prepare ourselves for a long or short wait,but to them it just comes accross as being to focused on it. We'll suck it up,I'd rather be prepared and have everything in place a year in advance than have to run around in 3 days and depend on hand outs!!!

Till next time...

2 COMMENT OR NOT 2 COMMENT?

It seems as though people from around the globe has been viewing my blog,mostly by accident,I know,but nevertheless.  Why not leave a little comment? I would love to make some new friend,especially if you can relate to our special situation. So come on...SPEAK UP WEBBY PEOPLE!!!

Till next time...

Screening

We had our screening on Friday.  I dont think I slept the night before!!!

It wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. At least we didn't have to make two trips. It took about 5 hours for the interviews and physometric testing. We do feel positive about it though. Our home visit will be during the month of June and on 28 June the panel will decide if we are suitable or not.

I've been doing a little shopping,sumtin I've waited years for to do. I just love walking in the little clothing isles and feeling the stuff.

I visited my friend who recently had a baby and her baby was exactly 2 months old,the age  our baby will be more or less when we get him/her. It was so good for us to get an idea of how big our baby will be. Plus she was toooo cute!!!

Now we just have to wait for our home visit and we'll be set.

Till next time...