So...this would have been a very important day in our home. We would have been busy preparing our eldest for the 1st day of school. Knowing me , I would have been fanatic about it and would've had everything ready and waiting before Christmas already. I am that crazy OCD lady at times.
Also , this would've been the time where either baby nr.2 has made his/her arrival or were very close to it. I am pretty sure it would've been chaotic around here!!!
My husband also turned the big 4-0 on Wednesday. Our family would've been complete by the time he hit that mark. Well...it's not.
This is why I see this as my therapy. I love talking about things. I dont want this situation to eat me from the inside. Problem is, not many people like to talk about these things. Granted, everyone has their own way of dealing with things , but mine is talking. Now since I cant talk, I write.
I dont feel like I'm dying inside. I'm not missing something I never had. I'm ok. I realy thought this month would be the hardest for me,but it's not. My heart is at peace. I have a grandmother in heaven who is looking after our angel babies, so Why would I worry? Our time will come to send our kids to school. To cry more than they do and to anxiously wait for the first day to be over for them. Our time will come...God just has'nt given us the answer yet (31.12.2013).
Until then I will come here for my therapy session to the few who will read this and find peace in knowing that something extra special is being prepared for us.
Good luck Moms who are sending little ones off to big school. Appreciate the moment and carry us, who long for that moment, in your hearts as we will you.
Till next time...