So I decided to come back for a little visit. Thanx to my little friend surfing via a BB10 from the Arab Emrates. I was not planning on being here,since I had started a new blog (check it out),but this is still the place to talk about my yearning for that family that keeps slipping thru my fingers.
Just because it's an OFF year,does not mean we let go of our dream. It's still as big as ever,we just want something else to be first choice this year.
To tell the truth, I do feel lighter since we had taken a break. There is no talk of papers,forms,doctors,ivf,iui,surrogates,nothing. It feels as if my soul is starting to heal, because you know it has to,we dont know what will be waiting beyond the borders of 2014 on us. I am looking forward to maybe studying this year,taking a trip,hell,how about a new language (u neva know where u might end up). A defnite is doing some renovations at home. I finaly can give all my energy to something else,downside is somtimes I give too much e nergy. Just yesterday I told Mark I want to go volunteer at the childrens home around the corner from us,but would that be good for my being?
How about getting a job,spoken as if it's easy to do. I realy want to devote myself to yhings that will make me better this year. Sometimes I think,what about a year of love and marriage? Yes,that would be great,but we are the lucky ones. Through our years of struggle,we remained close,if not growing closer. We just wanted to be parents so much that at times we forgot that we are still a couple. I thank God that we never even came close to the point of blaming each other,instead we would just talk endlessly about it.
Today I just want to BE. I thank God for making us realise that we have followed our own path for too long and for helping us on the road to making the decision to have Him lead and we will follow. Thank You for sending a stranger eith a massage on New Years Eve and speaking through the preacher,giving the same message yhe evening in church. From 2014 on,in God we fully and completely trust!!!
Till next time...