Right now I am in front of the pc,heater on,icy feet and I can Barely move. Last nite I just felt a pop in my left hip area and since then I've been in so much PAIN! I've cried numerous times since last nite,but managed to still do some chores and fed my husband twice today,through the pain. It took me an hour to bake an egg,butter bread and make coffee this morning (mind you while sobbing through it the whole time.) Things kept falling on the floor and I struggled to just bend over,but I did. Meantime Hubby is snoring away,blissfully unaware of me and my trouble.Sensitive much?
I contacted our SW. Managed to send a very nice,but firm e-mail and she assured me that she will see to why our home study is taking s long to be completed. I realy just want this over and done with. I WANT TO BE PAPER PREGNANT!!!
This week I made my biggest purchase yet. A complete cot set. Duvet-,bumper- and pillow inners with the covers. The most beautifull set of white linnen with a bear embroidered on. It took some convincing in the store for Mark to agree,but here it is. He realised there and then how hard it will be for him to say no to our kids someday.
When I start to feel so low and longing to hold a little baby in my arms,I start unpacking ll my baby buys,I mean everything! Nothing stays behind. I lay it out in front of me,old it up,hold it close,smell it and then I cry...I know...I'm very naughty. I just cant help it. It eases the pain somewhat,but it's no match for a little body who will be filling them.
Till next time...
Friday, 20 September 2013
Monday, 12 August 2013
6 Year Anniverversary coming up!!!
Our Anniversary is coming up next Sunday,18 Aug 2013.
It's the first year that we dont have anything planned,but we are working towards a bigger goal...A FAMILY.
Sunday, 4 August 2013
Sad day for a dilly...
My parents,sister & goddaughter will be visiting us this coming long weekend. Yay 4 the visit,nay 4 the preparation!!!
Always the same problem. Not enough storage space. Now,to clear things up. I always try and buy xmas gifts and things early in the year when it's on sale. This year it happenes to b 6big boxes. Add to that the 2 bins baby goods and more beddings. I have to make space for these things and quick!!!
Mark has to pack up the whole 'home office' and install (and build) the built in cupboard in that bedroom by Thursday,keep in mind while working 12 hour night shifts!!! More stuff to find space for,the computrr stand,urgh#@.
On a sad note. Last week I bought a huge teddy,yes I dig my own grave with these purchaces and storage,now I wanto try and stuff it into my big baby bin. So taking the bins out,I open the smaller one with the baby clothing in and immediately I get sad. My heart aches while I'm holding the little bodyvest in the air and on my chest,wondering if they will ever be filled with a little soft body. I know I must not keep looking at it,but can you blame me? So the yearning,which had tapered off,has started up again and with it comes being sad,inpatient and just plain being negative about holding our baby in my arms. So,pack it away now and go on with the day,step by step,day by day.
Till next time...
Always the same problem. Not enough storage space. Now,to clear things up. I always try and buy xmas gifts and things early in the year when it's on sale. This year it happenes to b 6big boxes. Add to that the 2 bins baby goods and more beddings. I have to make space for these things and quick!!!
Mark has to pack up the whole 'home office' and install (and build) the built in cupboard in that bedroom by Thursday,keep in mind while working 12 hour night shifts!!! More stuff to find space for,the computrr stand,urgh#@.
On a sad note. Last week I bought a huge teddy,yes I dig my own grave with these purchaces and storage,now I wanto try and stuff it into my big baby bin. So taking the bins out,I open the smaller one with the baby clothing in and immediately I get sad. My heart aches while I'm holding the little bodyvest in the air and on my chest,wondering if they will ever be filled with a little soft body. I know I must not keep looking at it,but can you blame me? So the yearning,which had tapered off,has started up again and with it comes being sad,inpatient and just plain being negative about holding our baby in my arms. So,pack it away now and go on with the day,step by step,day by day.
Till next time...
Saturday, 3 August 2013
Thursday, 18 July 2013
A lighter heart!
I was so frustrated at not knowing whats going on,then yesterday I had a change of heart.
I prayed and asked God to take control. I will let go of my anxieties to let Him take his rightfull place as leader of our lives. I almost immediately felt as if a wheight has been lifted. For too long I'v been trying to control my life!
So today I checked my e-mails amd there was just one. I got angry and thought it was these chain mails again. To my suprise it was our SW!!! Now I was scared to read it. Was it good news,bad news or just news?
She just wants to confirm that all is still well. Our local SW is swamped with work,but has agreed to do our home visit,when he gets a chance to.
My heart rejoiced!!! We are still on the books,but mostly because God has shown ma favour! He listened and showed me that I should not doubt Him. All I can say is THANK YOU LORD!!!
Till next time..
I prayed and asked God to take control. I will let go of my anxieties to let Him take his rightfull place as leader of our lives. I almost immediately felt as if a wheight has been lifted. For too long I'v been trying to control my life!
So today I checked my e-mails amd there was just one. I got angry and thought it was these chain mails again. To my suprise it was our SW!!! Now I was scared to read it. Was it good news,bad news or just news?
She just wants to confirm that all is still well. Our local SW is swamped with work,but has agreed to do our home visit,when he gets a chance to.
My heart rejoiced!!! We are still on the books,but mostly because God has shown ma favour! He listened and showed me that I should not doubt Him. All I can say is THANK YOU LORD!!!
Till next time..
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