This is my therapy...

So...this would have been a very important day in our home. We would have been busy preparing our eldest for the 1st day of school. Knowing me , I would have been fanatic about it and would've had everything ready and waiting before Christmas already. I am that crazy OCD lady at times.

Also , this would've been the time where either baby nr.2 has made his/her arrival or were very close to it. I am  pretty sure it would've been  chaotic around here!!!

My husband also turned the big 4-0 on Wednesday. Our family would've been complete by the time he hit that mark. Well...it's not.

This is why I see this as my therapy. I love talking about things. I dont want this situation to eat me from the inside. Problem is, not many people like to talk about these things. Granted, everyone has their own way of dealing with things , but mine is talking. Now since I cant talk, I write.

I dont feel like I'm dying inside. I'm not missing something I never had. I'm ok. I realy thought this month would be the hardest for me,but it's not. My heart is at peace. I have a grandmother in heaven who is looking after our angel babies, so Why would I worry? Our time will come to send our kids to school. To cry more than they do and to anxiously wait for the first day to be over for them. Our time will come...God just has'nt given us the answer yet (31.12.2013).

Until then I will come here for my therapy session to the few who will read this and find peace in knowing that something extra special is being prepared for us.

Good luck Moms who are sending little ones off to big school. Appreciate the moment and carry us, who long for that moment, in your hearts as we will you.

Till next time...

A lighter heart!

I was so frustrated at not knowing whats going on,then yesterday I had a change of heart.

I prayed and asked God to take control. I will let go of my anxieties to let Him take his rightfull place as leader of our lives. I almost immediately felt as if a wheight has been lifted. For too long I'v been trying to control my life!
So today I checked my e-mails amd there was just one. I got angry and thought it was these chain mails again. To my suprise it was our SW!!! Now I was scared to read it. Was it good news,bad news or just news?

She just wants to confirm that all is still well. Our local SW is swamped with work,but has agreed to do our home visit,when he gets a chance to.

My heart rejoiced!!! We are still on the books,but mostly because God has shown ma favour! He listened and showed me that I should not doubt Him. All I can say is THANK YOU LORD!!!

Till next time..

Keeping Hubby updated

It's 02:30 and I'm still up,nothing new  for me.

Last night I finaly had hubby read my blog. I loaded it onto his homescreen on his phone for easy access. I dont know how many posts he read,but I am eager to find out what his thoughts are.

On another note...we are waiting to hear when our home visit will be. I would love for all of this to be over by month end,but we'll have to wait and see. I just want to dive into nesting mode already!!!

Still on adoption,it seems as though I am having some trouble with family understanding just how unpredictable the process can be. We are trying to prepare ourselves for a long or short wait,but to them it just comes accross as being to focused on it. We'll suck it up,I'd rather be prepared and have everything in place a year in advance than have to run around in 3 days and depend on hand outs!!!

Till next time...

2 COMMENT OR NOT 2 COMMENT?

It seems as though people from around the globe has been viewing my blog,mostly by accident,I know,but nevertheless.  Why not leave a little comment? I would love to make some new friend,especially if you can relate to our special situation. So come on...SPEAK UP WEBBY PEOPLE!!!

Till next time...

Thoughts

There are two adoption blogs that I love,So met a ompad saam and The blessed barrenness.It's great to read how the families and grandparents accepted these little angels into their lives as their own,no questions asked.

We chatted today about what to do when we bring a little one home someday. What a joyous day that would be. Introducing him/her to every close family member,them falling inlove instantly. We chatted about our car,which will someday be too small,having two kids before Mark turns 40,what it would be like going on holiday with a baby?It seems that Mark is looking forward to the 3-4 year old stage,when they can participate in activities. Also the nursery came up,what to do and what to put in there.So excited and so afraid of the unknown.

It was sad talking about waht our kids would look like (if we could conceive) and I ended the convo with we'll neva know and Mark said,nothing is impossible.So even though there's still hope,we wont be clinging to it,because out there are a few babies who's waiting to enter our lives in any which way they can...YAY!!!

Till next time...